wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
