dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
