Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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