dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
so much tequila, so little girl.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
