Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize