I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
