I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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