So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
