Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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