margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize