I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
