porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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