You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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