Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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