how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
