i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
