we're blogging at a bar
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
