I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
