porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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