It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
