the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
