Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
