1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I will die if light touches me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
