Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
