I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
