Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
