I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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