Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
