did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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