Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize