she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize