i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize