Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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