so that wasnt chicken after all
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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