it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
