I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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