Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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