there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
