Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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