Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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