I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
