As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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