i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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