tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize