There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
