FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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