im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Help. Why am I so naked?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
