i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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