I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it because I queefed?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
