if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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