I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
