i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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