Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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