tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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