i permit you to call me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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