the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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