So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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