Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Who died my cat blue again?