Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is that you in the white hat?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fine suit yourself

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  (248): Is that you in the white hat? (248): Fine suit yourself http://tfl.nu/yncz
  Replies (3) Good night (1287) Bad night (1660)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

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  (360): I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock http://tfl.nu/cdtd
  Replies (29) Good night (941) Bad night (1422)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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  (503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (1739)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.

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  (803): i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move. http://tfl.nu/ml5e
  Replies (15) Good night (1632) Bad night (4641)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.

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  (717): Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze. http://tfl.nu/xfyl
  Replies (25) Good night (4655) Bad night (789)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.

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  (407): I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit. http://tfl.nu/vrom
  Replies (13) Good night (1337) Bad night (2708)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.

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  (709): She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up. http://tfl.nu/j6op
  Replies (8) Good night (3275) Bad night (1192)
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  (510): View more from California

  EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!

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  (510): EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT! http://tfl.nu/n28b
  Replies (22) Good night (1892) Bad night (6141)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.

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  (801): She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous. http://tfl.nu/mgxb
  Replies (5) Good night (4688) Bad night (1092)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?

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  (+44): I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone? http://tfl.nu/7opu
  Replies (4) Good night (2493) Bad night (1071)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?

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  (208): I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/ygut
  Replies (6) Good night (1555) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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  (864): Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members? http://tfl.nu/kgk2
  Replies (15) Good night (815) Bad night (2098)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

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  (979): Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything. http://tfl.nu/jcb8
  Replies (4) Good night (2119) Bad night (661)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.

  (281): View more from Texas

  i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.

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  (832): i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice. (281): i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building. http://tfl.nu/bxit
  Replies (2) Good night (824) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.

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  (724): I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show. http://tfl.nu/legh
  Replies (5) Good night (650) Bad night (514)

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