i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
