Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.

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  (815): someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd. http://tfl.nu/btmz
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (2189)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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  (307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn
  Replies (11) Good night (6383) Bad night (957)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes

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  (540): all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes http://tfl.nu/yixn
  Replies (34) Good night (8319) Bad night (1308)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

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  (412): in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila? http://tfl.nu/e4mt
  Replies (7) Good night (3424) Bad night (884)
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  (415): View more from California

  dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint

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  (415): dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint http://tfl.nu/6bee
  Replies (5) Good night (1215) Bad night (2396)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right

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  (807): If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right http://tfl.nu/lb7z
  Replies (3) Good night (4029) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity

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  (813): If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity http://tfl.nu/nz31
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (507)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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  (606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml
  Replies (11) Good night (533) Bad night (4128)
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  (760): View more from California

  Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.

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  (760): Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty. http://tfl.nu/d48e
  Replies (14) Good night (1106) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

  (315): View more from New York

  That's the best compliment I have ever received.

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  (813): It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina. (315): That's the best compliment I have ever received. http://tfl.nu/0q70
  Replies (5) Good night (2009) Bad night (416)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.

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  (775): Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob. http://tfl.nu/q4zv
  Replies (14) Good night (1536) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?

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  (612): Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic? http://tfl.nu/ja2v
  Replies (8) Good night (1039) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.

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  (586): Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/88fu
  Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?

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  (403): I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought? http://tfl.nu/gptx
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (287)

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