Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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