She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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