eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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